the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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