I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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