remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
