I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize