i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize