if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
