There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
