Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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