You really coming over, don't trick.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
