Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
