this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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