Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
