and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
