I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
