HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
