Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize