all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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