I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
