you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
