these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
