Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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