I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
