marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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