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Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
