Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
