no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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