I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
cat food counts as protein by the way
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
