I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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