I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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