I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
