I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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