Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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