these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
