i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
