So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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