i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
