was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
