Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
