Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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