Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
