Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
