i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
