hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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