I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
