I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
