kristin has been a bad kristin
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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