i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
