YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
