I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
