i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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