he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
