This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize