is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
