She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
