i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize