cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
