Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
