I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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