I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
