I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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