You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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