Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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