Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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