The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
